“We are so scared and so brave. We are so terrified and willing. We rewrite the definition of brave and it is this: love again, love again, love again.”

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I’M SO SO SO SORRY MY PEANUTS! I don’t know why I just called you guys peanuts but you know 😛

As a product of ‘fruitful’ MIA (or so I like to think AHAHAHA ), I’ve been thinking.

Is there a reason why we choose to ignore the flashing red signs in our faces in hopes for a different outcome? The way we know how treacherous the road ahead can be, but yet, choose to brave on through. The same way we know how toxic someone can be, yet throw caution to the wind and dive in head first. In many ways, it’s like running through a battlefield, fully aware that we’re not bulletproof. We knew, but it didn’t make a difference. We feared, but stopping was not an option. Sometimes I think it’s because deep down, we’re all hopeless romantics dazzled by the idea of a happy ending; that this time will be different.

I know I am, always hopelessly lost in the daydream and thus, constantly being let down when things don’t go according to plan. But here’s the thing with us hopeless romantics, we may get shoved down to dirt, get our heart torn to shreds in the cruelest way possible, left out high and dry by the one we gave our all to, yet we keep going. That’s the only way we know how: to continue wearing our hearts out on our sleeves, love, love and love again. To wake up the next day with a smile convincing enough to trick ourselves into thinking that today will be different, and brave out equipped once again with a bag full of hope. We wait for the train that may never come, get bruised up by treacherous paths; cry for the people we knew were bad for us from the beginning but we never learn. We never learn to stop falling without looking, to build our walls a little higher and learn to not trust people so easily, or more accurately, not fall for their pretty little lines.

Some may say it’s curiousity. Tempted by the excitement, bewildered by the unknown. We want things to turn out good and right, the way we pictured it in our heads over and over again right before we fall asleep. So we roll the dice, again and again, hoping for the lucky strike. Fifth time? 10th? or 20th? It’s insane, but we do it anyway. We hold out for the one who may never show up, grapple in the dark for the thing that may never be ours. Because we hope, we wish upon our lucky stars and dust ourselves with speckles of uncertain promises just to get by.

It’s hard to rationalise it because in the end, it isn’t, it just doesn’t make sense. Why do we keep reaching for the unattainable, knowing that we’re fighting a losing battle? Chasing round in circles, dizzying ourselves with the unsteady sense of defeat, only to be fueled by the nonsensical idea that things will pan out different this time; this will be different. Will it? Because if it does, at least our efforts will not die in vain; to all those times when you felt like the world was caving in – they weren’t for nothing.

PS. I will be continuing my #DIS series but this time, instead of clogging up your feed posting every single day, I’ll be posting every Saturday with the week’s #DIS.

Today’s #DIS 3/07/15:

  • Watched Inside Out (SUCH A GOOD MOVIE, MY GOSH! 😀 )
  • Drew something (Check out the preview picture, hehe!)
  • Finally found time to post

Thank you you lovely earthlings for being so patient and I hope my little train of thought made SOME sense, if any!

Till next time, with love.

xx, theotherside97

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